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Do you think we should tell him


itsmelisa

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There were three preachers: a Catholic, a Baptist, and a rabbi. They are all fishing out in the lake when all of a sudden the Baptist has to go to the bathroom. So he gets up and walks across the water, does his business, and comes back. Then all of a sudden the rabbi has to go, so he gets up and walks across the water, does his business, and comes back.

Then the Catholic has to go, but when he gets out he falls into the water, so he swims back, gets back into the boat, looks up, and says, ''God, let me walk across the water.'' Then he tries again and falls into the water, so he swims back, tries again and he falls again.

 

The Baptist leans over to the rabbi and says, ''Do you think we should tell him where the stepping stones are?''

 

 

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- Lisa

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One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip... but there were problems everywhere.

 

Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

 

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit.

 

This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.

 

More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.

 

So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the liquor and there was nothing to drink.

 

In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.

 

Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

 

The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree?

Where would you like me to stick it?"

 

And thus began the tradition of sticking the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

 

 

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- Lisa

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