Movie Junkie Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________ HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________ SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________ BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________ HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______ Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No If No, explain: ______________________________________________________________ Number of years they have been married ______________________________ If less than your age, explain ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ACCESSORIES SECTION: A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No C. A waterbed? __Yes __No D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No E. A tattoo? __Yes __No F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? (IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.) ESSAY SECTION: In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ REFERENCES SECTION: Church you attend ___________________________________________________ How often you attend ________________________________________________ When would be the best time to interview your: father? _____________ mother? _____________ pastor? _____________ SHORT-ANSWER SECTION: Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential. A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be: ______________________________________________________________ B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: ______________________________________________________________ C: A woman's place is in the: ______________________________________________________________ D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: ______________________________________________________________ E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is: ______________________________________________________________ F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________ I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE AND RED HOT POKERS. _________________________________________________________ Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!) _______________________________ ________________________________ Mother's Signature Father's Signature _______________________________ ________________________________ Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lfcrule1972 Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 I am gonna copy this for when my daughter is a little bit older !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Movie Junkie Posted February 6, 2006 Author Share Posted February 6, 2006 I am gonna copy this for when my daughter is a little bit older !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerseyguy Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 i already copied it and sent it to her..she's 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lfcrule1972 Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Nah she's 10 fella's !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirk1701™ Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Do you have parents? ___Yes ___NoIs one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No Movie Junkie Your gonna get me in deep shit shit you know that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Movie Junkie Posted February 6, 2006 Author Share Posted February 6, 2006 Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No Movie Junkie Your gonna get me in deep shit shit you know that Why? What's the answer to that question??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirk1701™ Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Answer is B Reboot the server Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Movie Junkie Posted February 6, 2006 Author Share Posted February 6, 2006 (edited) Answer is B Reboot the server The question required a Yes or No answer. "B" does not compute. Edited February 6, 2006 by Movie Junkie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirk1701™ Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Answer is B Reboot the server The question required a Yes or No answer. "B" does not compute. I can answer for myself. both are YES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Movie Junkie Posted February 7, 2006 Author Share Posted February 7, 2006 (edited) Answer is B Reboot the server The question required a Yes or No answer. "B" does not compute. I can answer for myself. both are YES I'm glad we got that straight (pun intended). Edited February 7, 2006 by Movie Junkie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirk1701™ Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 yea, very straight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lfcrule1972 Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 I can answer for myself. both are YES Both are male and female ?? Like Quinton in Nip Tuck ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirk1701™ Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 I can answer for myself. both are YES Both are male and female ?? Like Quinton in Nip Tuck ? Now there's a show I can teach in class Next time the subject comes up its Nip/tuck Thanks lfc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Movie Junkie Posted February 7, 2006 Author Share Posted February 7, 2006 yea, very straight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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