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Movie Junkie

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Everything posted by Movie Junkie

  1. I vote for Shit being the right word.
  2. Obviously she did not do what he wanted her to when he asked her to Love Me Tender. When she goes to trial her attorney will probably say that listening to the same song over and over again got her All Shook Up while the Prosecutor will say that she is the Devil in Disguise. If she is found guilty I am sure she will throw herself on the mercy of the court and say to the Judge; Don't, Don?t Be Cruel. The Judge will respond by saying she is a Hard Headed Woman and that he hopes next December she will have a Blue Christmas. Once she is behind bars she will see the error of her ways and many times will be found Crying in The Chapel. On visiting day she will tell her husband that he is Always on My Mind. She will ask him Are You Lonesome Tonight? He will tell here about His Latest Flame. All she will have left is her Memories. She will keep herself sane by thinking If I Can Dream. He will stop visiting her and all of the letters she sends to him will come back stamped Return to Sender. A year or so later her husband will finally again visit her and tell her that while he cares for the other woman, She?s Not You. He will admit to her that I Can?t Stop Loving You and how much I Want You, I Need You, I Love You. He devises a plan to bust her out of jail. He tells their children of the plan and of how frightened he is. His children tell him Don?t Cry Daddy, it's going to work out OK. On his next visit he tells her of his plan and that It?s Now or Never but it must be done My Way. During the jail break they are surrounded and told to Surrender, but they finally get away. They drive for days through wind, hail and Kentucky Rain. He tells her that A Fool Such as I could never live without her. When they finally arrive at their final destination and they are settled in for the night all she wants to do is talk. He tells her A Little Less Conversation please so you can Help Me Make It Through The Night. They live happily ever after in the Heartbreak Hotel which is deep In The Ghetto. Just him, his wife, children (with their Teddy Bear) and his Little Sister. Oh yeah, I forgot, his dog too...Old Shep.
  3. I found a great solution to keep spam away. I signed-up for two email accounts at Zoemail about 18 months ago and in that time I have not had ANY spam. There are no whitelists, blacklists or filters to set up nor is there a need for people who email you to respond to confirmation letters. One of the best things about it is you have the ability to know who it is who has given you email address out if you should receive spam and you have the ability to cut that spam off, again without any lists or filters. You might want to go there and check it out for yourself. If you have any questions please ask me and I will do my best to answer them.
  4. I PM'ed Lightning about putting that part into the program.
  5. Lightning...is there a way you could make Image Burn make my breakfast while doing the .ISO burns??? ...maybe it could do the dishes as well.?
  6. and down...and up...and down...... DAMN! I was right. Someone was watching. Oh well I guess I am
  7. That was in her second letter.
  8. OK now...how many here are following these rules? Let's see a show of hands.
  9. Number 10 was my favorite.
  10. 1. It is important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It is important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It is important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 4. It is important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. And last but not least rule number 5...scroll down 5. It is very, very important that these four women don't know each other.
  11. What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag. Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts. What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together? 100 people who don't do dick. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs. What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes. What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs? The blonde, because she's 18. What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?" What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck. Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo." Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. What's the Cuban National Anthem? "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe." How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..." Why is there no Disneyland in China? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
  12. Dear Ma and Pa, I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you til noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none. This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes. Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry. Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in. Your loving daughter, Carol
  13. Movie Junkie

    Killing Time

    1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people?s carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens. 5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' 9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" (And; last, but not least!) 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
  14. An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees!" "What powerful rivers!" "What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge toward him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God!..." Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. A bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky: "You deny My existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?" The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could you make the BEAR a Christian?" "Very well," said the voice. The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together and bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."
  15. Thanks digi but I e-mailed them to check it was the retail version otherwise the free discs aren't free cos they cost ?5 ! They mailed me back to say that too was the OEM version How much do you want? Couple of bags should do the garden - thanks !! ha ha It's on the way to you. In case you are wondering where I got it, there is always a BIGsupply in Washington, DC...especally at the White House!
  16. I think these have all been failing at the DL boundary. Given that do u think I could called these discs "defective" and return send them right &^&@^%-ing back? But given consistent failing at the boundary and the unsuccessful try with Verbatims, could the SONY drive be the problem? (It's quite new and I don't think dirt could be the problem). One of my two Sony drives (DRU710A) is starting to fail and the problem I am having with it is reading some DL discs past the layer-break. This problem is showing up on pressed and DVD+R DL discs. I am going to be replacing the defective drive and I might replace the other one at the same time. Both drives are just 15 months old.
  17. What do you use for coasters? I've got enough to last 6 lifetimes betweeen testers and various other "experiments" I just get people to send me their CMC discs.
  18. In burning over 450 Verbatim DVD+R DL discs I have not had a bad burn yet. In burning over 550 Verbatim DVD-R discs (not DL) I have only had 2 coasters and one of them was my fault. Verbs are the way to go.
  19. Thanks again Lightning UK. I will be purchasing the 1655...except NOBODY HAS IT!! They don't have the 1640 either. (I am talking about the retail versions of each model.) I have been to NewEgg, CyberGuys, ZipZoomFly and a few others. I did find one place that claimed they had it but according to a post I read they are sending out the OEM versions. According to BenQ America they don't expect to get more drives until the middle of next month. What a bummer!
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