Deconstruction Of Latest Spam

[dbminter]

I will using standard Quoting for the board for material in the Spam.

 

 

Subject: Your significant other still criticizing about ur dimension

Yeah, I figured the day I started my experiments in quantum field science, accessing alternate dimensions and things like that, would piss off my significant other.

 

 

Did u hear that the bulk of women are unsatisfied with the size of there husband's thing.

 

 

Yeah, women are never satisfied with the size of the diamond on the wedding ring they get, are they?

 

 

Not only that but their also unstaisfied by their show in the bedroom.

Well, I CAN'T get anyone to fund the play I wrote in college! Don't Bogart The Diazapam, starring Larry Storch as Val E. Um and Jim Varney as the corpse of Sal Mineo. (When I created it, Varney was still very much alive, and, would, yes, still play a corpse.)

 

 

Is this sounding like u.

 

 

No, it is I. How about u? Or, as the Spanish would ask, K?

 

 

part of the novel as it gives an unexpected twist to the story line.

I only removed the URL in the above statement. The rest is verbatim, if you can believe it.

 

 

Throughout the novel the le did she have in the restrictions posed by royalty that required her to

marry me, her husband.

 

 

As opposed to marrying, you, her pet wombat with waterwings, or marrying me, her wife.

 

 

was raised in a family of radicals.

Again, verbatim, nothing removed.

 

 

When Napoleon was nine, his father sent him to Brienne, a French military . Lokietek, of Lithuania, soon united the Polish and Lithuanian armies to fight the Teuto.

 

 

And, you, too, can send your sons to French militaries, unite the Polish and Lithuanian armies, and fight the Teuto. But only if you buy our idiotic penis enhancement product! An amazing combination of a patch and pills: you simply secure the pill to your penis with a patch and wait for the process of osmosis to absorb it directly into the flesh. Over the years, the skin will grow around the pill and it will become a part of you. As more and more pills enter into your very being, you will be empowered with the power of a more powerful penis, or at least the delusion of one in your mind. With such delusions securely firm in your subconscious, you will be able to mystically transport yourself back to the time of Napoleon. Thanks to the miracle of modern penis enlargement, you, too, can unit the Polish and Lithuanian armies! Give new meaning to the term Pole-ish! Order today! Operators are standing by! Those operators unable to stand will be slumped over their phones, dead from myxamitosis. Call them, though, as your amazing powers granted through miracle penis enlargment will raise the dead, too... in more ways than one!

 

 

[Shamus_McFartfinger]

Y?know, I haven?t had a spam email in about 3 years or so. Not a single one. Weird, huh?

[spinningwheel]

I just got this one:

 

 

Dear Friends and Relatives:

 

We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee to raise

$5,000,000 for a monument of Bill Clinton . We originally wanted to

put him on Mt. Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough room

for two more faces.

 

We then decided to erect a statue of Bill Clinton in the Washington, D.C.

Hall Of Fame. We were in a quandary as to where the statue should be

placed. It was not proper to place it beside the statue of George

Washington, who never told a lie, or beside Jesse Jackson,

who never told the truth,

since Bill Clinton could never tell the difference.

 

We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest

Democrat of them all. He left not knowing where he was going, and when he

got there he did not know where he was. He returned not knowing where he

had been, and did it all on someone else's money.

 

If you are one of the fortunate people who have anything left after

taxes, we expect a generous contribution to this worthwhile project.

Thank you.

 

Bill Clinton Monument . Committee

 

P. S. The Committee has raised $1.35 so far.

 

And another thing.....

 

Now let me get this straight....... Bill Clinton is getting $12 Million

for his memoirs. His wife Hillary got $8 million for hers.

 

That's $20 million for memories from two people who for eight years

repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn't remember anything.

 

God Bless America !

[spinningwheel]

Just got this one at work also.....

 

 

Dear Chase Bank Online Banking Customer,

 

 

We recently have discovered that multiple computers have attempted to log into your Chase Bank Online Banking

account, and multiple password failures were presented before the logons. We now require you to re-validate your

account information to us. If this is not completed by March 22, 2006, we will be forced to suspend your account

indefinitely, as it may have been used for fraudulent purposes.

 

 

Chase Bank is devoted to keeping a safe environment for its community of consumers and producers. To guarantee

the safety of your account, Chase Bank deploys some of the most advanced security measures in the world and our

anti-fraud units regularly screen the Chase Bank database for suspicious activity, We thank you for your cooperation

in this manner. In order to confirm your Online Bank records, we may require some specific information from you.

To speed up this process, you are required to verify your Chase account by following the link below

If you choose to ignore our request, you leave us no choice but to temporary suspend your account.

 

 

Please Click Here Chase Bank Account Verification or on the link below to verify your account

 

http://www.chase.com/chaseonlinebanking/logon/sso_logon.jsp

 

 

 

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter. Please understand that this is a security measure meant to help

protect you and your account.

 

 

The Chase Manhattan Bank Customer Department

 

 

Please do not reply to this e-mail. Mail sent to this address cannot be answered. For assistance, log in to your Chase account and choose the

"Help" link in the header of any page.

 

 

?Copyright 2006 JPMorgan Chase online, Inc . All Rights Reserved

 

 

 

AND...the link is already broken....

[Movie Junkie]

Y?know, I haven?t had a spam email in about 3 years or so. Not a single one. Weird, huh?

I haven't had spam in my three "main" accounts in over 1 1/2 years.

 

About four years ago I setup a phony account on Hotmail. I NEVER used it nor gave the address to anyone. Within a couple of months I was getting spam in it. Makes you think...

[polopony]

"And, you, too, can send your sons to French militaries"

 

what a four year course in how to throw up your hands and surrender sacre bleu

[Kenadjian]

Y?know, I haven?t had a spam email in about 3 years or so. Not a single one. Weird, huh?

 

That's unreal, I would average about at least one a day. WTF

[Movie Junkie]

"And, you, too, can send your sons to French militaries"

 

what a four year course in how to throw up your hands and surrender sacre bleu

Hell, that course only take a few minutes in France.

[dbminter]

Personally, I am of the opinion that France serves a tremendous role in keeping the peace in the world. Think about it. If France didn't just surrender all the time, that would mean they'd actually fight once in a while. Imagine, then, if you should be DEFEATED by the French in combat! The ignominy and the humiliation you'd suffer would fester and boil for years. When you finally did explode in massive egotistical retaliatory attacks, it might make the Huns look like the French. France's actions asking for repirations all at once at the end of World War I are a good parallel of this idea. France didn't even do the actual beating, and ended up all but creating the conditions for the rise of the Nazi party in Germany.

 

 

So, while the world ain't exactly a paradise, imagine if France had never surrendered before. I think it would be a much more violent place. So, kudos to the French! May your cowardice lead to copycats and eventual world peace!