Top Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2006

[Movie Junkie]

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

 

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

 

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

 

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

 

Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

 

Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

 

Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

 

Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

 

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take prozac to make it normal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006 - We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Homeland Security.

[Kenadjian]

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006 - We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Homeland Security.

 

They would get my vote.

[Grain]

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

 

Another version of that saying, "Give a man a fish and he can eat for a day, teach him to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day."

[jmet]

teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Not entirely true. My whole family and all my friends email me and calls me every 5 minutes to ask "How do I do........?"