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LIGHTNING UK!

Request for funny one liners / famous quotes from movies / tv shows

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A few more...

 

Shrek

Lord Farquaad: I'm not the monster here, you are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now tell me, where are the others?

Gingerbread Man: Eat me! [spits]

 

Lord Farquaad: Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.

 

Donkey: Don't die, Shrek. And if you see any long tunnels, stay away from the light.

 

We all go a little mad sometimes."

Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins) in Psycho

 

"Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me."

- BEN BRADDOCK (Dustin Hoffman) in The Graduate

 

"Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."

- ALVY SINGER (Woody Allen) in Annie Hall

 

"Open the pod bay doors, HAL."

- DAVE BOWMAN (Keir Dullea) in 2001

 

"Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape."

- TAYLOR (Charlton Heston) in Planet of the Apes

 

"Because when you're a call girl, you control it, that's why. Because someone wants you...and for an hour...I'm the best actress in the world."

- BREE DANIEL (Jane Fonda) in Klute

 

"No, I'm all man. I even fought in WWII. Of course, I was wearing women's undergarments under my uniform."

- ED WOOD (Johnny Depp) in Ed Wood

 

"You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your ass."

- MARCELLUS WALLACE (Ving Rhames) in Pulp Fiction

 

"I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."

- FRENCH SOLDIER (John Cleese) in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

 

"He won't come after me. He won't. I can't explain it. He would consider that...rude."

- CLARICE STARLING (Jodie Foster) in The Silence of the Lambs

 

"Excuse me while I whip this out."

- BART (Cleavon Little) in Blazing Saddles

 

"Kid, the next time I say, 'Let's go someplace like Bolivia,' let's go someplace like Bolivia."

- BUTCH CASSIDY (Paul Newman) in Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid

 

"Bring the dog, I love animals. I'm a great cook."

- ALEX FORREST (Glenn Close) in Fatal Attraction

 

"Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not 'every man for himself.' And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up."

- WANDA (Jamie Lee Curtis) in A Fish Called Wanda

 

"Empire had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets."

- DANTE (Brian O'Halloran) in Clerks

 

"I'm not bad; I'm just drawn that way."

- JESSICA RABBIT (Kathleen Turner) in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

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Bond: Who are you?

Pussy: My name is Pussy Galore

Bond: I must be dreaming

I think I preferred the alter ego from Austin Powers - Alotta Fagina :D

 

Regards

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Me too Blu...

 

Austin Powers: Come again?

Alotta Fagina: Alotta Fagina

Austin Powers: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just not getting it, it sounds like you said your name was a lot of um... never mind!

 

Austin Powers: Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later? How do you like to do it? Do you like to wash up first? You know, top and tails... whore's bath? Personally, before I'm on the job, I like to give my undercarriage a bit of a 'how's your father'!

 

Austin Powers: She's the village bicycle! Everybody's had a ride.

 

Austin Powers: Allow myself to introduce... myself!

 

Austin Powers: That really hurt! I'm gonna have a lump there, you idiot! Who throws a shoe? Honestly! You fight like a woman!

 

Alotta Fagina: In Japan, men come first and women come second.

Austin Powers: Or sometimes not at all.

 

Dr. Evil: Begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism!

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Well I saw those as well, but I didn't think the boss would be too keen on having one liners popping up on his prog asking about shaggin. I didn't post Bernard Manning jokes for the same reason.

 

Mind you, I have been wrong before as blutach pointed out...

 

QUOTE(Altercuno @ Sep 24 2007, 10:23 PM) *

Pretty sure the boss still wont go for it but it will give us something to look at... :D

 

QUOTE(LIGHTNING UK! @ Sep 24 2007, 11:13 PM) *

I like the idea of the newbie friendly welcome screen and have toyed with the idea in the past. I'm working on it right now.

 

Mindreaders!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

 

=)) =)) =)) =))

 

Regards

Edited by Altercuno

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The Dr Evil one in LOCO's last post was hilarious.

 

Regards

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And some more...

 

Godfather

"I'll make him an offer he can't refuse."

 

Jaws

"You're gonna need a bigger boat."

 

Some like it hot

"Why would a guy wanna marry a guy?"

- "Security."

 

Dr Strangelove

"Gentlemen. You can't fight in here. This is the War Room!"

 

"If you don't get the President of the United States on that phone, do you know what's gonna happen to you?...You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola Company."

 

"Fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous plot we have ever had to face."

 

When Harry Met Sally

" I'll have what she's having."

 

The Silence of the Lambs

"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."

 

-I must hang up now Clarice. I'm having an old friend for dinner.

 

Pulp Fiction

"Mmmm-hmmm! This is a tasty burger!"

 

The Shining

"He-e-e-e-re's Johnnie!"

 

Ghostbusters

"Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!"

 

White Heat

"Made it Ma! Top of the world!"

 

Taxi Driver

"You talkin' to me?"

 

Love & Death

- "He was from my village. He was the village idiot!"

- "Yeah, what'd you do, place?"

 

Die Hard

"Yippie kay-yay, mother@#!%er."

 

Casablanca

"Round up the usual suspects."

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White Heat

"Made it Ma! Top of the world!"

 

white heat????

I remember james cagney saying that, while standing on an oil tank, at a burning refinery

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