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pdavit

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He has to be like that...look at where he lives...

 

An amazing 25,000 British tourists go there every year and, unlike the good old days of transportation, most of them come back.

 

But not all. In fact, 2,433 tourists have died in Australia over the past seven years.

 

Drowning, car crashes and heatstroke are among the big killers. There are killer crocodiles lurking in a few centimetres of water; sharks that snack at most of the popular beaches; deadly jellyfish; poisonous toads which can make you throw up just by looking at them; plus the three million varieties of venemous spider.

 

Even Australia's cuddly national symbols have a violent streak.

 

'A koala can give you a nasty bite or carve you up with its claws,' says Ranger Craig Adams, of the Australian Reptile and Wildlife Park.

 

And a few years ago, a poor 13-year-old boy was viciously beaten up by a kangaroo.

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And don't forget about the backpacker murders AC! If we really don't like poms, we take 'em out in the desert and well, you know what.

 

Regards

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Male poms perhaps, but now I read you're after our women :o ...

 

They were dismal at the Olympics, the drought has ravaged the country and wine exports are down.

 

So gloomy Australians are hitting back in the best way they know how. They are trying to steal our women.

 

Britain, according to the Australians' latest pitch to attract immigrants, is full of highly skilled, single young women dissatisfied with the quality of their lives - and the choice of menfolk.

 

The answer? Move to South Australia which promises good jobs, cheap property, warm weather and low crime. Oh, and plenty of men.

 

The approach, in keeping with Australian custom, couldn't be much more direct.

 

Bill Muirhead, South Australia's Agent General in London, said: 'We can offer UK migrants a quality lifestyle, strong career prospects, beautiful beaches, world-class wine and fine weather.

 

'Our research shows that many single British women are actively looking for love but not finding it.

 

For those interested, South Australia needs doctors and health professionals, accountants, planners and chefs.

 

It operates a points-based system designed to admit the best-qualified immigrants.

 

There may, of course, be a downside. South Australian men are fanatical about Aussie Rules football, a sport where the rules are best described as 'forget about the ball, get on with the game'.

 

But for those keen on joining the estimated 50,000 Britons a year leaving for new lives in Australia, an information meeting will be held next week.

 

This will take the form of a 'speed dating' evening in which British women will get to meet 'eligible men' including a winemaker, a chef, engineers, bankers, and surfers.

 

Mr Muirhead said it will 'bring together confident British women with some of the best men South Australia has to offer'.

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Manchester....this is what you guys are into eh?

 

funny-jobs.jpg

 

I applied for that and was told the position had already been filled.

 

Wouldn't care I was real eager to come.

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But for those keen on joining the estimated 50,000 Britons a year leaving for new lives in Australia, an information meeting will be held next week.

Who could believe that we still let 50,000 of you in annually? Well, it seems that they are biased toward the ladies thank goodness.

 

some of the best men South Australia has to offer

I'm sure this is an oxymoron.

 

Regards

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Who could believe that we still let 50,000 of you in annually? Well, it seems that they are biased toward the ladies thank goodness.

 

So you want them coming over to deplete the selection pool?

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