Movie Junkie

It won?t do any good. He has a photo of me wearing ?Tweety Bird? waterwings. I was just testing them. Honest. Hey...You have them too, huh?

Visit to the car dealer... One day, an elderly woman was walking along the street, coming home from the supermarket. Her bag of groceries was especially heavy that day, and as she passed Nathan Hale's Used Cars, she got an idea that she could drive herself to the store and save a lot of shoe leather, time and aching muscles. She walks into the car dealership and, as it just so happens, gets the owner himself. He asks her what kind of car she wants and she replies, "Well, sonny, I can't remember the name exactly, but it has something to do with hate or anger." The owner replies, "Well, let's see... Oh yes, you want a Plymouth Fury! We have a couple on the lot. What color do you prefer?" The lady has some trouble explaining the exact color to him, so she reaches into her shopping bag, takes out an ear of corn, strips down the shucks and says, "I want this color sonny." To which Nathan replies, "Ma'am I'm sorry, but we don't have any in this color. Could I show you a nice blue one?" "No son, I want this color." "But ma'am, they didn't make that color! Maybe a cherry red one would suit you?" says the owner, obviously worried about losing a sale. By this time, the old lady gets mad, and starts throwing things at the owner, thereby chasing him out of the office and into the lot. One of the salesmen, coming into the office from the back door, notices the disruption and asks the secretary what the old woman was so upset about. The secretary replies, "Apparently, Hale hath no Fury like the woman's corn!"

A Transylvania vacation Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late, and raining very hard. Bob could barely see 20 feet in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to carry her to the nearest phone. Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from an old, large house. He approaches the door and knocks. A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone??" "I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a Doctor; come in and I will get him!" Bob brings his wife in. An elegant man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory." With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table. After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more. The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting, melody fills the house. Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise! He is further amazed as Betty sits straight up! Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to his master: "Master, Master! ... The Hills are alive with the sound of music!

Queen Nyteshade had two claims to fame. She could tell fortunes and she was a midget. The local authorities frowned on her because they thought that fortune telling was fraudulent. They had Queeny arrested. She was placed in a holding cell. Since she was so small she was able to squeeze between the bars of her cell and escape. This to incensed the judge that he ordered the local newspaper to print an article about the culprit. The following was printed in the paper the next day. Small medium at large.

Well if that's the Whey you feel Asiago somewhere else. It seems you are feeling Blue by being here. And you shouldn't Brie anywhere that makes you feel like that. Yes Goato someplace you think will make you happy. If that place doesn't work then Goutu some other place. You might try the Isle of Mull, or maybe just watching an episode of the Munsters might help. If after that you are still feeling Pourly you could try watching something with Ray Romano in it. Whatever you do, hopefully it will bring an end to this Saga

@ Shamus...Double Groan

...when this duck comes out of nowhere and says "Hell I thought it was wet!". Stay tuned.

I dunno about the darkside. I could be in the black book with that comment about spandex trousers though. Don't worry Shamus. I'll give you "those" pictures and you you can use them to stay out of that book.

You've got that right Kev.

During this time, Spinner awakens and finds himself in downtown Cleveland....

Shamus..come over to the dark side...

I do remember seeing some of them. FREAKING HILARIOUS!

He had perfect timing. I remember some years ago seeing some bloopers of him when he was on The Andy Griffith Show. Even what he did by accident were funnier than what some of the other comedy actors do on purpose.

Well, at least you didn't ask.

As we look in on Movie Junkie, he says to no one in particular (since no one listens to him anyway)... HUH?

So you do understand then. Is that correct?

To paraphrase...Ya Doesn't Has to Call it Johnson... Now thats Corny.....or what?

Don't ask...don't tell.

Whose Johnson was it?

I hope Verbatim isn't trying to pull a fast-one on us.

He was a perfect fit to just about every role he played either in the movies or on TV. There is NO ONE I can think of who could have been Barney Fife.

And still another satisfied customer.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.