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Darwin awards are out

Movie Junkie

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Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are

bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here then, are the glorious winners:


1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during

a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did

something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and

tried the trigger again. This time it worked..... And now, the honorable mentions:


2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine

and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance

company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have

a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The

chef's claim was approved.


3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a

blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken

the space. Understandably, he shot her.


4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found

that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare

to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the

driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a

free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital,

telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to

bizarre fantasies The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.


5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head

wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received

the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how

close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.


6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,

and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, he man pulled

a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk

promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,

leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from

the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you

money, is a crime committed?)


7.Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that

he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window,

grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it

over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the

would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store

window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught

on videotape.


8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her

purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to

give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes,

the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove

back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to

stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's

her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."


9.The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into

a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun,

and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he

couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered

onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,

frustrated, walked away.




10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a

Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.

Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to

a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the

man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into

the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined

to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.


In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your friends

and family .. unless of course one of these 10 individuals by chance is a

distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be glad they are

distant and hope they remain lost.

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